whewww 2009!!

Well, I can’t say that I  am going to miss you 2009.  I have had a lot of firsts and a lot of lasts and they were all because of you 2009!

I am kinda at a loss of what you describe this year as, except as the year of pain and suffering! haha no, not really…I have grown so much this year and as much as I would love to wipe out all of the grief, pain, and heartache that I have seen and experienced myself I would never change it. I am def. a better person because of it. Dont get me wrong I have had my share of amazing moments. haha too many to recount!

I have loved, lost, and loved that I  lost. lol Some people complain about bad things in life, dwell on the past, or even blame others. I try not to do that I want to move forward grow from them. I love my life and the people in it. They definitely make me who I am. 2009 will never be like any other. It had so many extremes…It was love/hate, friends/enemies, win/loss, happy/sad. There was no in between, and I think thats what made this year so memorable and so CRAZY!

So with that I bid thee a farewell 2009. May you rest in peace. Hopefully 2010 will bring more amazing memories, plus….

2010 is where it’s at!  =]

blog glob

I have so much to say, but no energy or words to describe what I want to say. Weird, for the second time in my life. =/  I would recap my totally amazing weekend but bj  already did .(read his blog) I hate that I had to leave such a perfect weekend  my friends are so much fun, we get so crunkkk nasty! haha

 I am getting so annoyed because its ONLY Tuesday! It is supposed to be a short week cause of  the 4th of July but its  dragging on and on. Its making me feel so crazy and scattered.  Everything I thought made sense and everything I thought was truth just isn’t adding up. I hate not knowing whats to come…but I guess that’s life. The only thing i can do is  just pray that I’m doing what God wants me to. blehhhhhh Today has been such a dreary day and it is  honestly the way my mood is. I love the rain, just not today. I love a lot of things, just not today.

I am going shopping later, which is always a plus. I am FINALLY getting the vans that I have been wanting since Christmas! I’m pretty stoked. Not much on the agenda for tonight, who knows I might actually come around to getting a tatty since i finally caught up with bills and such. That will be a mood changer… =]

Speachless

For once in my life I have nothing to say. Wow.

Dog sitting

This week has been rather strange. It has totally zoomed by…I feel like I am watching my life go on looking from the outside. That’s a weird feeling. Anyyyyway I have been house/dog sitting since Tuesday in lake jovita. Its been pretty amazing, and the puppies are so cute! Their names are Tina and Turner hahahah. They are HUGE! It’s been pretty chill there other than the nice frog they decided to kill in the house. We have had some good times with the golf cart and pool already!!! It’s gonna be sad next week when our time is up. Butttttttt I am totally excited about seeing year one today!! EPIC!

Face it, You’re not facing it!

It is so frustrating to me when people make decisions to change your life and leave things in a disaster, but don’t care to fix them. I want to be done, i want to move on, “close the door”, but because someone else is dragging their feet i cant. girrr

i need to punch something! lol any takers? =] No,  but for real this is my prayer for right now:

Psalm 37:7-9
Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Stop being angry! Turn from your rage! Do not lose your temper—it only leads to harm. For the wicked will be destroyed, but those who trust in the Lord will possess the land.

i need to be calm tempered. VERY HARD!

Optimistic

Things are getting brighter and brighter.

I’m having such a good day and its just begun. =]

btw read bj’s blog…soooo freakin genius. Moon Suits FTW!

Moving on

I have talked to countless people to cope, heal, and move on.  My cuzzo suggested to listen to a song called “Moving On” by The Red Baron. He said that it was his anthem, well guess what? I have adopted it. It is mine now hahah! I am not putting the actual song up, but i will put the lyrics.  I don’t know if i am weird or whatever but iFEEL music, to get the full effect go listen to it on myspace.

Lyrics to Moving On (The Red Baron) :
Gave you everything i could
did everything a man should
took it for granted so now im moving on

wish you would open your eyes
see all that ive sacrificed
gave up my life to try and better yours
stretched out my arms far and wide
your lies have left me crucified
on our memories i close the door

why cant you see you meant the world to me
turned your back on what we could be
was it lies you fed me all along?
now you’re gone and im moving on
MOVING ON

your promises were empty words
i wish that this never occured
absurd excuses are falling from your lips
you only cared about yourself
walking over everyone else
i rejoice that this is finally it

why cant you see you meant the world to me
turned your back on what we could be
was it lies you fed me all along?
now you’re gone and im moving on
MOVING ON

You had me fooled for too long but
now that you’re gone i stay strong cause
us being done is the best thing
that could have happened to me

Im Moving On
Im Moving On
Im Moving On
Im staying strong and Im MOVING ON

WHOA!!! Did you feel the tug on your heart? lol If i have talked to you in the last four days, thank you. Thank you for being there, thank you for loving me, and thank you for caring. its a lot more than i can say for some people. By people i mean Zazu….

life lessons

I am Jessie before him and i am Jessie after him.

this is the hardest thing of my life.

this is my next step to be done.

im done.